【感想・考察】『ぜんぶ壊して地獄で愛して』13話で感じる直井の傷痕

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結論、直井の父親がクソ過ぎた…


クソオブクソとしか言いようがない。



これで終わりにするのはあっけなさすぎるので、もうちょっと語っていこうかなと思う。


直井の心に刻まれた傷痕が相当深い気がするんだけど???


直井の二の腕についている傷痕がかなり痛々しい…


一体何があったのだろうか…


直井は来未に自己犠牲されても何を与えられないと意味深なことを言っていたのが印象に残る。


何も与えられないとは一体どういうことなんだ?


そのヒントはラストシーンにあるのだと捉えている。


恐らく、直井が来未をホテルに連れて行ったのは自分が綺麗な体ではないというのを見せるため。傷ついた体をあえて見せることにより、来未に何も与えられないというのを伝えたのでしょう。


ボロボロのホテルはまるで傷ついた直井の心と体を表しているかのようだ。


ひょっとしたら、直井も来未と同様に自己犠牲を何度も行っていたのかなと解釈している。その考えに至った理由は他人のためにケガをするのはバカだと直井が言っていたから。その経験でできたのが直井の右腕にできた傷痕なのではないか。


直井がバイトで稼いだお金を父親に渡し続けていたのも自己犠牲の一環なのかなと。最初は父親を助けたいという一心でバイトを続けていたものの、次第に直井の心から父親を大切に想う気持ちが薄れていったのかなと解釈している。


直井の右腕に大きな傷痕ができた理由は何か大きな事故なのかどうか気になるところ。直井の父親は直井に殴る蹴るの暴行だけでなく、性的暴行を行っていたのではないかと一瞬勘繰ってしまった。これはさすがに考え過ぎですね。


直井の父親も家族を幸せにするために誰にも負けないくらいの想いがあったのだろう。直井の父親は仕事で大きな挫折をしてしまい、直井に金をせびる毎日を送り続けていると。少なくとも、離婚という名の挫折を直井の父親は経験している。結婚していた頃の直井の父親は直井を幸せにしようと仕事などに精を出していたのかなと感じた。


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直井が来未の手当てをするシーンを見ると、1巻の特典に描かれていたナース服姿の直井の見方が変わってくる。直井は献身的な女の子なんだなという想いが強くなった。


直井が金を稼ぐという行為は家族を助けるためだけでなく、直井の父親から身を守る手段でもある。


来未が警察を呼ぶと言っても、直井の父親は平気な顔をしていたのは失うものが何もないからだ。失うものがないからこそ、直井の父親は警察を恐れていない。そう考えると、直井の父親は無敵の人なんじゃないかと思ってしまう。


直井が来未と幸せになろうとするのは直井の父親にとって裏切り行為。直井の父親は直井をみちづれしようとしているとしか考えられん。直井の行動次第で直井の父親は大きな問題を起こすのではないかという不安を抱かせる。直井の父親を刺激すればする程、直井に降りかかる危険が大きくなるような気がしてならない。


直井の父親の接点が直井しかないのが怖いところ。服装などを察するに、身だしなみを整えるよう注意する人達が直井の父親にいないのだと思う。


直井の父親が来未に何か危害を加えようとしたら、直井は身を呈して守ろうとするのかなと思わなくもない。直井自身、本当は優しい女の子なのだから。


来未を守ろうとするだけの良心が直井の心にある。だからこそ、来未に危険が及んだ時、直井は来未を助けようとする。


冒頭に描かれていた心も印象に残る。心は来未を救おうとしなかった。心がいくら後悔しても時が戻ることはない。零れたミルクが元通りになることがないように。


来未を好きにならなくても、心は同じようなことをしていたと思う。誰かに期待しようとする一面や身勝手な一面が心の言動から見受けられる。


心は来未を追い詰めていたのではないかと自己嫌悪に陥っていたけど、心は来未を追い詰める原因の1つでしかない。心が接していなくても、来未は破滅の道を歩む。


明音が心に一体どのように関わるのか気になる。明音は来未と直井に心と関わるのは止めるよう言うのかなと。明音の明るい表情の裏に一体どのようなものが潜んでいるのか。想像するだけで興奮してしまう。


ただ1つ言えることは直井に幸せになる権利はある。傷つき続けた直井の人生が不幸なままで終わって良いのかという気持ちでいっぱいになる。最も、来未を唆す行為は褒められたものではないけど。


直井の下の名前は幸せなど前向きな意味合いを持っているのかなと感じなくもない。


どうしようもない現実に生きる来未と直井が可愛く映る。自らの感情を押し殺し続けてきた来未も傷つきながらも自己犠牲を続ける直井も不器用過ぎる。だけど、そんな一面が彼女達の魅力に繋がっているのだろう。時には、欠点が大きな魅力に繋がる可能性だって十分ある。


来未と直井はホテルで一体どのようなやり取りを行うのか想像しつつ、14話を待つことにしよう。


English edition

※This English is a machine translation.※


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In conclusion, Naoi's father was too shitty...


All I can say is shit of shit.


End


It would be too quick to end it here, so I think I'll say a little more.


I feel like the scars carved into Naoi's heart are quite deep? ? ?


The scars on Naoi's upper arms are quite painful...


What is going on…


Naoi left an impression on me when she said something meaningful to Kurumi, saying that she had nothing to give even if she sacrificed herself.


What does Naoi mean when she says she can't give Kurumi anything?


Perhaps the reason Naoi took Kurumi to the hotel was to show her that she wasn't pretty. By daring to show Kurumi her injured body, she must have conveyed to Kurumi that she had nothing to give her.


The dilapidated hotel seems to represent Naoi's damaged mind and body.


My interpretation is that Naoi may have made self-sacrifice many times like Kurumi. The reason I came up with that idea was because Naoi said it was stupid to get hurt for someone else. The scar on Naoi's right arm may be the result of that experience.


I wonder if Naoi's continued handing over the money she earned from her part-time job to her father is part of her self-sacrifice. At first, Naoi continued to work part-time out of a single-minded desire to help her father, but over time Naoi's feelings of caring for her father began to fade.


I wonder if the reason for the large scar on Naoi's right arm was some kind of major accident. For a moment, I wondered if Naoi's father had not only punched and kicked her, but had also sexually assaulted her. This is definitely overthinking.


Naoi's father must have been as passionate about making his family happy as anyone else. Naoi's father suffered a major setback at work and spends his days begging Naoi for money. At the very least, Naoi's father has experienced the setback of divorce. I felt that when Naoi was married, Naoi's father was working hard to make Naoi happy.


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When you see the scene where Naoi takes care of Kurumi, your perspective on Naoi in the nurse's uniform that was depicted in the first volume bonus changes. I got a stronger feeling that Naoi is a devoted girl.


Naoi's act of earning money is not only to help her family, but also as a way to protect himself from Naoi's father.


Even when Kurumi said to call the police, Naoi's father looked unconcerned because he had nothing to lose. Naoi's father is not afraid of the police because he has nothing to lose. When I think about it that way, I think Naoi's father is an invincible person.


Naoi's attempt to be happy with Kurumi is a betrayal to Naoi's father. I can only assume that Naoi's father is trying to lead Naoi away. Naoi's father worries that depending on Naoi's actions, he will cause big problems. I can't help but feel that the more I provoke Naoi's father, the greater the danger that will befall Naoi.


The scary part is that Naoi's only contact with her father is Naoi. Judging by the way he dresses, I think Naoi's father doesn't have anyone to warn him about his appearance.


I can't help but wonder if Naoi's father tried to harm Kurumi in some way, and Naoi would sacrifice herself to protect her. Naoi herself is actually a kind girl.


Naoi has enough conscience in her heart to protect Kurumi. That's why when Kurumi is in danger, Naoi tries to help her.


The heart depicted at the beginning also left an impression on me. Kokoro didn't try to save Kurumi. No matter how much Kokoro regrets, time will never go back. Make sure spilled milk doesn't come back to normal.


Even if Kokoro didn't like Kurumi, I think she would have done something similar. Kokoro's behavior shows that she has high expectations for others and is selfish.


Kokoro was filled with self-loathing, thinking that he was pushing Kurumi into a corner, but Kokoro was just one of the reasons for pushing Kurumi into a corner. Even without Kokoro's touch, Kurumi continues on the path of destruction.


I'm curious about how Akane will be involved with Kokoro. I wonder if Akane will tell Kurumi and Naoi to stop getting involved with Kokoro. What on earth is lurking behind Akane's bright expression? I get excited just thinking about it.


The only thing I can say is that Naoi has the right to be happy. Naoi's continued hurt makes me wonder if it's okay for her life to end in misery. Most importantly, the act of seducing Kurumi wasn't something to be praised for.


I can't help but feel that Naoi's name has positive connotations such as happiness.


Kurumi and Naoi, who live in a hopeless reality, look cute. Kurumi, who has kept suppressing her emotions, and Naoi, who continues to sacrifice herself even though she is hurt, are both too clumsy. However, this aspect is probably what makes them so appealing. Sometimes, there is a good chance that flaws can lead to great charm.


Let's wait for episode 14 while imagining what kind of interaction Kurumi and Naoi will have at the hotel.

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